23 Things I Have Learnt This Year.
Updated: Feb 19, 2021
I am 23???? Like what?? This past year has been the best year of my life, after so many struggles, I feel like I have overcome a lot and in honour of me turning 23, I wanted to write 23 things that I have learnt this year. I remember seeing Camila Cabello doing something similar to this and it was so refreshing to read so here's my attempt.
1. It's okay to not know where you're heading - There are days where I feel like I'm completely lost and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Sometimes I get really anxious about it because the vision isn't clear in my head. However, I've learnt to go with the flow and enjoy life step by step. Stop worrying about what the future holds and focus on the present because it's a gift. We are all blessed to wake up everyday, so don't waste that stressing about the future, use it by living in the now.
2. Let go - Let go of everything that doesn't serve you, whether that be a toxic relationship or a dead end job that you hate. Let it go. Let go of all the hate that you hold against someone, let go of regrets, let go of fear. Holding onto these things will not fix anything. Accept the things that have happened to you, let it be, you can't change the past and holding on will not allow you to progress as a person.
3. Social Media - STOP RELYING ON IT! Please stop comparing yourself to other people. Stop letting Instagram models dictate how you think you should look, stop stalking your ex's new partner; move on, stop being so hard on yourself, stop waking up every morning and reaching straight for your phone, stop letting it be the last thing you see at night, stop spending hours of your day scrolling through your apps. Go outside a bit more, read a book, do some exercise, meet up with friends. Use social media cleverly, stop using it as an escape, it's not real life.
4. Read more - Reading is so therapeutic, it always makes me feel great afterwards. Read more about life, the universe, manifestation, chakra's, astrology. These things really opened up my mind and made me change the way I think. It's worth researching, trust me.
5. Meditation - Make time for this, it's so important, even if it's 10 or 15 minutes out of your day, do it, it really doesn't have to be a time consuming activity. You don't have to be a "hippie" to appreciate meditation, it actually helps lower your stress levels, helps with anxiety, clears your mind and improves your sleep. There's so many benefits and if there's anything I've learnt this year, it's that meditation is key. If you're not comfortable sitting in silence, listen to some meditation music or even guided meditations on YouTube, I find that Eric Ho is the most helpful for me. If you want to learn more about it then download the app Head Space, it's so good for beginners and practicing mediation.
6. Cherish your friends and family - Keep in contact, check up on them, ask how their day has been. You never know when it's someone's last day, always remind your loved ones that they're loved.
7. Go outside more - I love walks. When I suffered really bad with anxiety and didn't want to leave my house, I'd force myself out of bed to go on a walk, even if I really didn't want to, I knew that I would feel ten times better afterwards. It clears your mind, it's refreshing and it really improves your mood.
8. Do the thing that scares you but excites you at the same time - Do it. Stop thinking about what could go wrong and start listing the things that could go right. Get out of that little comfort zone that you've built yourself in. You'll gain so much more confidence by just going for it. This blog is an example of this, it was something we wanted to do for a long time until we finally grew some balls and thought fuck it, what have we got to lose and it turned out to be a brilliant decision, GO FOR IT.
9. Not everyone has the same heart as you - This is something I learnt the hard way and I'm glad it happened the way it did because I wouldn't be the person I am now nor would I be writing this. The things we experience mold us into the people we need to be, the people that we are today. Stop begging for someone's attention, stop begging for someone to change, stop thinking that if you give them another chance their actions will be different next time round. Sometimes, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are a bad person, they just simply don't have the same heart as you. That's it. That's life.
10."Before things come together, they have to fall apart" - Taken from one of my favourite Mac Miller songs. Someone who although I didn't know personally, helped me through some tough times, his lyrics were always so deep and meaningful. What a legend he was.
How true is this quote though? Sometimes life can throw some shit your way and sometimes you might think there's no coming back from it but I believe that life has to be messy and crazy for you to truly see the beauty within it. Just know that better things are coming and the universe would never take something out of your life without the intention of replacing it with something bigger and better.
11. Gratitude - It's so important to count your blessings and to be grateful for what you have. Stop focusing on what you don't have, stop being sad because you don't have certain things in your life. If you truly want things, believe that you already have them, live like you already have them and the universe will co-operate but ALWAYS appreciate what life has already given you, be proud of your accomplishments.
12. Do more of what makes you happy - Stop listening to other people's opinions, know yourself. Never let anyone cloud your judgement, you are your own person, you're allowed to like different things, you're allowed to be yourself.
13. Stop letting other people's success make you feel like you've failed - We are all on our own path going at our own pace, stop trying to rush the process, it will happen for you.
14. Listen to music that makes you feel good - If I was all up in my feelings, I used to listen to emotional songs that never really used to help my mood (I'm sure we all do this). I now tend to listen to soothing artists, songs that are chill but make me feel like a bad bitch at the same time. I recommend the queen of singing dirty lyrics in the most peaceful way poss, Miss Jhene Aiko (obvs) she's just woke and her songs are chillllll as fuck. I also enjoy Sabrina Claudio, Kehlani, Nao & Victoria Monet. I have a playlist that contains all of these and everytime I play it, I feel like I can take on the world haha.
15. Let your friends help you - If you've got something on your chest, say it. If something is bothering you, tell your friends. Even if it's minor and you think it's not worth mentioning, let it out. Even if you want to vent about the same guy that you've already told them about a hundred times before, do it. Real friends will always listen to you. If you're struggling with money, let them pay for your food if they offer, accept the help, swallow your pride. That's what friends are for.
16. Help your friends - Like number 15, be that friends that helps out. Give them a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent into, comfort them when they need it, listen to the same problem over again, just be there. Always be the friend that you would like to have.
17. It's okay to let people in - I used to be so afraid of opening up in fear of being hurt again but I learnt that it only holds you back more. Be open and honest, let everything out. Always speak your truth.
18 . Don't go looking for love - Sooo cheesy but I tell my best friends this all the time. Stop searching for it, you'll only attract the wrong people. Learn to love yourself first and let love come to you. It will come when you least expect it.
19. Change is good - Stop fearing change, it's inevitable. Let it happen and be comfortable with it. Accept the fact that sometimes change has to happen for you to develop and become someone better.
20. It's okay to have off days and stay in bed watching crap TV and eating junk food - You do not have to be positive every single second of the day, we are only human. Grab your crisps and popcorn, shove some friends on and stay in bed all day laughing at Chandler's awful jokes, who cares.
21. Stop letting the little things bother you - Especially the little things you cannot control, there's so many other things you could be focusing on. Someone said to me "if you can do it, do it, if you can't, don't" so basic but it makes sense. If you can fix it then fix it, if you can't, why worry about it? There's nothing you can do so stop adding unneeded stress.
22. Anxiety is a bitch - Stop trying to work against it and instead, work with it. Personally I don't think my anxiety will ever fully go away and it certainly doesn't disappear over night but I have learnt to somewhat control it because I am the one in control. Don't let it define you.
23. Life is HARD - It is. It's not supposed to be easy so if it is, you're doing it wrong. Life is a journey, it's filled with surprises and hurt that will one day turn into healing. You're supposed to experience the sad days so that you can truly appreciate the good ones. Sometimes you're going to have to do things you don't want to do in order to be happy. You're going to have to go through the hardest things in order to become a stronger person. We as humans have to experience pain, loss and tragedy, it doesn't mean we deserve it. There's no instructions on how to handle life so just let it be. Nobody said it was easy, none of it really makes any sense so stop trying to make sense of it and just try and enjoy the crazy ride, very cliche but it's true.
In conclusion, I don't really know a great deal, I'm just sharing whatever my brain has accumulated over this past year of healing and the stuff I have had to realise. I hope it hasn't been too boring, I like to ramble when I talk on the things I am passionate about. I'm excited to start chapter 23 and to see what else life has in store for me. If you've got this far, thank you so much for reading and not exiting half way through, I hope this has at least put a smile on your face.
Love Chlo x